I Can't Take You Anywhere
by dangerprawn
Summary: The holiday season brings out all of Kakashi's antic behavior and Iruka only pretends he doesn't think Kakashi is funny.
1. Day 1,  Broken Heater

Day 1 - Broken Heater

They had just moved in together and already the heater was broken. Any other time, he would have taken this as a foreboding omen for the approaching holidays. But somehow, with Kakashi by his side, everything seemed like it was going to be alright. He snuggled close to the other man to drink in his body heat and felt compelled to whisper to his sleeping partner, "I love you."

Barely were the words out of his mouth when Kakashi farted. It wasn t anything audible. He could only have described as a hot breath on his leg. Somehow, that made it that much worse. He bit his lip to restrain himself from taking his pillow and smothering Kakashi with it that instant. Instead, he rolled him unceremoniously off the mattress and onto the floor. Kakshi landed with a thump. It sounded like it hurt. Iruka didn't care. He pointed to the door.

"Out. Get out."

"What happened?" Kakashi glanced about nervously as he sprang to his feet in a way that said _I'm ready to kick ass and take names_.

Still, the pillow Iruka threw at him hit him square in the face. "Sleep on the couch or I'm going to kill you."

Iruka turned over on his stomach and watched Kakashi pad obediently out of the room. He joined his pack on the sofa with the announcement: "I'm in the dog house and I don't know why."

"You farted, boss." Pakun answered without lifting his head or opening his eyes. "You farted."

"Are you sure that wasn't one of you?" he whispered loudly.

The dogs all spoke over one another:

"It was _you_," one accused, voice heavy with disappointment.

"Unmistakable. I've never met another human with an ass like yours."

"Yeah, you're heinous. Why's he have to make you sleep with us? We don't deserve this."

"Right after he said I love you too," another added.

"You farted on him."

"It was unholy!"

"We could smell it all the way out here."

"Boss, are you okay?" one whimpered. "What did you eat?"

"Oops, my bad." Kakashi admitted. He didn't sound sorry at all. He followed up with, "If I let you get even by farting on me can I come back to bed?"

"Of course!" Iruka answered.

It was difficult for him to keep a straight face. But he knew that's exactly what Kakashi, who with his quick witted humor and way with words had the ability to get out of almost any situation even if it meant stooping to the absurdly juvenile, wanted. He couldn't let Kakashi know he thought this was funny. It would be the death of him.

"Really?" the voice from the other room was hopeful.

"No!" Iruka pretended not to realize that Kakashi was kidding. "What planet are you from that makes you think that would make me feel better?"

"I know you warned me it would give me gas. I promise not to eat any more chili." Kakashi bargained. "Can I come back to bed?"

"Go back to sleep," Iruka grumbled, fully aware of how childish he was being but unwilling to loose the argument.

"Don't blame me when you catch cold," Kakashi rebutted.

Iruka smothered the giggle rising in his chest and pretended to have drifted off. The holidays were off to an inauspicious start.


	2. Day 2, Intoxication

Day 2 - Intoxication

Iruka guessed this is what he got for forbidding Kakashi - still buzzed from the jounin Christmas party and a little bit sore with him for throwing him from bed the night before - from burying his face in pornography as they did their holiday food shopping. The man was a silly drunk. He stood in the fish market stall next to Iruka displaying one of his many talents - ventriloquism. He held a sardine near to the school teacher's ear squeezed the sides of it's face to make it's mouth move. His singing pitch was off.

"Silent night, holy night."

"I'm sorry," Iruka mouthed to the fishmonger, who simply stared at Kakashi with mounting bemusement. If nobody were around to watch he would have picked up a fish of his own and made a little choir. But, he had appearances to keep up. He had to at least pretend to be the adult in this situation. Iruka turned and snapped. "What is the matter with you? Didn't anyone ever tell you not to play with dead animals?"

"All is calm," the fish inched closer, "all is bright."

"Stop that."

"Stop what? I can't help it that I had the good fortune to pick out a singing fish." Kakashi responded flatly. He squeezed the fish extra hard when he sang the line, "Holy Infant, so tender and mild." The fish's eye oozed out of the socket onto the floor. Kakashi spoke for the fish, "Oh, no! Iruka-sensei, my eye! Kiss it better."

He pressed the fish to Iruka's cheek. It was slimy and cold. Iruka made a show of taking a deep, calming breath and reached for his wallet, "How much for the fish?"

"Have it, just... get out. You're scaring away my customers."

Kakashi turned and walked from the store without having to be asked twice. Iruka jogged the few steps to catch up.

"Must I amuse you every second of every day?"

"Yes, sugar," the fish answered.

"Don't touch me." Iruka growled. "Don't call me that in public."

"I love you," the fish sounded hurt but, Kakashi was smiling.

Iruka wasn't sure if he wanted to murder him or kiss him. He could have done without the fish being thrust against his cheek. But, the rest of it was pretty funny.

"I love you too, you annoying son of a bitch."  



	3. Day 3, Flu Season

Day 3 - Flu Season

"You're a teacher and you work under Tsunade and you didn't get inoculated?" Kakashi knelt next to Iruka, holding his hair back and wearing his partner's discarded reindeer antler headband. "For shame, Iruka-sensei."

"I'm telling you, it's food poisoning," the teacher's tired, hoarse voice echoed in the toilet bowl.

"Are you firing from both ends?"

Iruka lifted his heavy head from it's resting place on the toilet seat, "Excuse me?"

"Are you," Kakashi made a bizarrely rude gesture by wiggling the fingers of one hand near his mouth and the fingers of the other hand near his ass, "firing from both ends?"

"What?" He frowned in feverish consternation. "No."

"Then I'm pretty sure it's the flu and not food poisoning."

"It's always on holidays." Iruka punctuated this assessment by dry heaving. He panted through the dizziness and nausea, "Why do I always get the flu on holiday?"

"Let's say it's because your body knows when I'll be around to take care of you. Think everything's come up now?" Iruka nodded while Kakashi kissed his forehead and tied his hair back in a loose bun. "How about a bath to cool you off and some fluids and then I'll tuck you in?"

"Yes, please." Kakashi folded Iruka and lifted him easily. Iruka insisted, "I can get up on my own."

"No, no. It's more fun for me this way. It's like having a great, big, warm doll to do as I please with."

"You're demented," Iruka knotted a fist in his hair but was too exhausted to pull.

Kakashi laughed, "Don't try to pretend you don't enjoy it."

Iruka could find no response. Kakashi had him there.  



	4. Day 4, Lines

Day 4 - Lines

In the late afternoon of the next day, when Iruka felt well again, he took Kakashi out shopping for the school-wide secret-santa exchange. Rather, he felt well enough to walk if he rested when he got dizzy, and Kakashi tagged along to make sure _Nobody stole him in his moment of weakness_. Iruka, appreciative of the support, saved his breath instead of giving his customary _Go to a shrink, hypervigilance is a symptom of PTSD_ rant. But, thankfully, Kakashi behaved himself right up until the point when they started standing on line.

"Iruka-sensei?" He felt five tiny fingers grasp his hand. He looked down to see one of his first year students. "What are you doing out of the school?

He laughed, "I don't li-"

"When he's good," Kakashi cut in loudly before Iruka could complete his sentence. "They let him out of his cage for Christmas. But, only with a jounin escort."

"Iruka-sensei lives in a cage?"

"N-"

"Oh yes. Kakashi nodded emphatically. "In the basement right next to the spooky dungeon where they keep naughty genin."

Iruka was amused by the way the child processed this for a moment before responding, "The school doesn't have a basement."

Kakashi made a show of looking around like he thought someone might have been listening in on the conversation then cupped a hand over his mouth to whisper conspiratorially, "That's exactly what they want you to think."

Iruka grabbed him by the elbow and hissed in his ear, "What did I tell you about inflicting your deranged sexual fantasies on the children?"

Kakash laughed, "Uh-oh, kid. I'm in trouble. Go call the ANBU for help. Run!"

"I can't take you _anywhere_," he said, his voice hard and disappointed, as the watched the child dash away. He couldn't laugh about this, not with the possibility that it would get back to the child's parents. To hide the smile he couldn't contain he turned away and pretended he was pouting.

"Because children and animals like me?"

He concentrated on his breathing so he wouldn't end up doubled over on the floor. Iruka guessed Kakashi must have taken this as a sign that Iruka was trying to control his anger because when they came to the cash register Kakashi got out his wallet by way of apology.


	5. Day 5, Unexpected Guests

**Day 5 - Unexpected Guests **

It had snowed heavily that night. So, in the morning, neither of them expected anyone in their right mind to brave the elements and visit. When there was a knock at the door, Iruka answered it and he did not like what he saw when he looked through the peep-hole. He waved to get Kakashi's attention and used Konoha field signaling to say, _Gai-sensei with a fruitcake._ There was no signal for _fruitcake_ so he spelled it. The sign for Gai-sensei was two hands stacked on top of one another, thumbs waving like a turtle on it's back, awkwardly trying to right itself.

Kakashi appeared puzzled. He pulled up his mask and spelled _f-r-u-i-t-c-a-k-e_ to himself three times before he understood. Then he answered with the universal sign for _Oh, God __**no**_ which was a dawning look of horror and denial. He beckoned Iruka closer.

Iruka padded silently across the room.

Kakashi whispered in his ear, "Don't panic. Gai-sensei can smell fear."

Iruka leaned back and mouthed. "What?"

"I'm kidding." He spoke softly and unlatched the window. "Climb out."

They did, without even taking their coats. Iruka thought this was a little bit silly. They couldn't just leave Gai there, no matter how annoying he was. But, they could have a little fun with him.

Half way across the roof Iruka tapped Kakashi and signaled _I've got an idea. I'm going back._

_No!_ He responded frantically. _I'm the CO 'round here. We're retreating immediately._

Iruka scoffed as he walked away. _Bitch, please._

Kakashi followed one beat behind. Iruka estimated the point of the roof above their door and indicated that Kakashi sit down next to him. Kakashi got the idea without having to be told. Iruka signaled _1, 2, 3_. They pushed the snow.

Gai only looked upset for a moment, until they explained:

"Training!"


	6. Day 6, Gift Exchange

Kakashi suggested that since money was tight they exchange favors instead of gifts that year. Iruka wasn't surprised that he asked for something sexual. But, he was so shocked by it that he had to ask him to repeat himself.

"You want me to _what_?"

He blushed and hid his gaze under his eyelashes as he looked down at his steepled fingers. He looked entirely too innocent. Iruka's mind filtered what it could to make the request sound less offensive.

"I want you to *** me in the *** wearing a *** and then I want to *** the *** from the ***."

Iruka indulged him. Then lay back, panting, with what was left of his conscious mind after his earth shattering orgasm and thought to himself, _He wouldn't. He couldn't. Could he? _

Kakashi grinned, eyes shining with gleeful defiance. He did. And he maintained eye contact the entire time, coming off hard into his own hand and across Iruka's skin. What disturbed Iruka most about the sight was that, though under pain of death he would not admit to it, he knew he would be getting off to the thought of it for long, long time.

"Oh dear." Iruka covered his face but could not look away. He peeked through the cage of his fingers. "I think we may have reached the nadir of our depravity."

"Go team." Kakashi shivered, cast the emptied prophylactic aside and held up a palm, presumably for a high five. "Promise you'll never leave me Iruka-sensei."

Iruka left Kakashi's hand hanging in the air. "I _cannot_ believe the things we just said to each other."

"I think it's safe to say my job here is done." He lowered his hand and made a show of examining his fingernails. "Has anyone ever told you you'd be _fantastic_ at writing erotica?"

"I _cannot_ believe the things we just said to each other," Iruka repeated, numbly.

"Well, I _would_ eat it out of almost any container." Kakashi laughed. "We should try the floor next time."  
**  
**


	7. Day 7, Bad Presents

The children made Iruka cards for Christmas. They made Iruka feel thankful, thankful that they were too young to understand sarcasm.

"Thank... Thank you. It... it's... _lovely_."

He wasn't sure what it was. But, it reminded him to take the red crayons out of writing utensil bin. He knew he had been forgetting something.

"I'll make sure to treasure it."

This one he could identify. It was himself and what he suspected was Kakashi. He was in a cage. Kakashi was letting him out of it. It was captioned, '_Iruka-sensei lives in the basement_.'

"Oh, more. Great. _Great. _That's just what I need, thank you."

Just when he had been hoping that was the last of them.

"What is this, Konohamaru?"

It appeared to be a lemon with a ponytail and a line across the middle of it, sitting next to an apple with an orange book. There were little zig-zag _yelling_ lines coming from the lemon.

"Uncle Asuma says you and Kakashi-sensei are fruits."

Iruka laughed humorlessly. "Oh _does_ he? That's very interesting."

He looked forward to putting them in his _bizarre drawings which should never again see the light of day_ drawer with all of the other disturbing doodles the 6-year-olds he trained for combat produced for him.

But, on the way home Kakashi asked, "What do you have there?"

"Nothing." He folded the pile of papers and stuffed them in the inner pocket of his flak jacket.

Kakashi inched in close. Iruka gave him a warning shove. A small scuffle ensued, resulting in Kakashi getting a handful of snow shoved down the back of his pants. It didn't seem to bother him nearly as much as the handful of snow he pressed against Iruka's face bothered Iruka. Somehow someone lost a shoe in the process. Kakashi came out on top, as usual. He helped Iruka up with one hand and fanned the pictures with the other.

"They're all geniuses," Kakashi enthused.

When they got home Kakashi hung the picture labeled '_Iruka-sensei lives in the basement' _ on the refrigerator. Iruka waited until he wasn't looking to put it away in the drawer. 


	8. Day 8, Working Over the Holiday

Iruka worked in the missions office on Chirstmas morning. Kakashi brought him coffee and sat with him behind the desk to keep him company. Neither of them were particularly happy about it. But, it was what it was. What was worse were the nin trickling in from missions that had run late or gone wrong. They were hell to deal with and Kakashi wasn't helping. When he wasn't expounding on the fact that the only thing he envied in Iruka's work were the wheelie chairs, he was sprawled in one with his feet on the table making a mess cutting out paper-chains.

"Sir." The man appeared distracted. Iruka was as polite as possible. "You need to fill out section 3A properly."

He frowned down at his work. "I want to get home to my kids."

Iruka sympathized, "I would like to go home too. But, I can't do that until this paperwork is completed."

"How can you say that when you're sitting here, dicking around with Kakashi?"

Iruka was a bit taken aback. Kakashi was unfazed. He pulled open his newest paper chain. It appeared to be a dog with antlers. He looked extremely pleased with his own cleverness. Iruka wanted to smack him.

He smiled. "I apologize. But, there's no accounting for Kakashi. I'm not his keeper." _Even though he badly needs one_ Iruka added mentally.

"What do either of you have to go home to anyway?"

"Excuse me?" Iruka's mouth fell open.

"I'm going to have you fired." he concluded suddenly.

Iruka's empathy abandoned him. Kakashi reached for the scissors again. Iruka had no doubt he was going to say something in their defense. He was, unsurprisingly, skilled with smiling as he delivered vague and chillingly disturbing threats. But, they'd had the _I can stand up for myself_ talk one too many times that year so, before he could say anything, Iruka cut in:

"Is that so? Well, I'm going to have you _killed_."

Kakashi did a poor job of stifling an utterly unmanly giggle with a cough. They both gave him a dirty look. He hummed and poked the scissors so they lined up with the edge of the desk like that would make their workspace look more neat. It didn't. Iruka rummaged in the bottom drawer for the _Missing Nin Assassination Order-form Version 5B_ and began filling it out.

The man's eyes widened in shock. "You can't _do_ that!"

"I believe I already am." He wrote the man's ninja identification number at the top of the page. "Kakashi, didn't you just hear him plotting to overthrow the government?"

"Why, yes." Kakashi cupped his chin thoughtfully. "Yes, I think I did."

Iruka offered the pen. "Then sign here, please."

"Gladly." Kakashi put his mark on the paper with a flourish. "Tsk, tsk. You should have been more discreet."

"What?" The man growled in consternation. "No!"

Kakashi picked up the scissors and idly twirled them on a finger. "Permission to accept this mission?"

"Yes, dear."

"You wouldn't," the man laughed. There was a twinge of nervousness to it.

Kakashi stood with all the deadly grace of an experienced assassin.

"I suggest you start running," Iruka added helpfully.

"Wait! Wait." He picked up the pen again. "No, I'll fucking fill out the form again, you crazy bastards."

Kakashi waited until the man left the room to say, "Iruka, you are fearless and I love you."


	9. Day 9, Fattening Foods

**Day 9 - Fattening Foods**

Each holiday season, Iruka baked cookies for the children in his class who had no loved ones to care for them. The project grew more time- consuming by the year. So, for the sake of time, Iruka enlisted Kakashi s help. His partner was begrudging at best. Iruka could not tell if the gagging was for show or because the smell of sugar genuinely repulsed the man.

"This is torture." Kakashi complained bitterly as he haphazardly squeezed icing onto the gingerbread men he had just finished baking. "You're cruel and unusual."

"That may be true but I don't think you're using that phrase right." Iruka didn't look up from the molasses he was measuring. "Also, this isn't torture. I know torture. And this isn't it."

"You've been tortured? You've never been captured..." Iruka resisted asking Kakashi how he knew that. He had the feeling it had something to do with breaking into his dossier. "No scarring indicative of torture, unless I missed something. Did I miss something?" Kakashi took this as an opportunity to grope Iruka in all the places where he was ticklish: his waist, the backs of his knees and the inside of his thighs. "Waterboarding? Genjutsu? Drugs?"

"And sleep deprivation."

Kakashi was silent for a moment then asked, "Why?"

Iruka put the cup down and looked Kakashi square in the face. He saw he had a bit of flour streaked across his mask. He reached out to wipe it away for him before he calmly explained:

"Because you know, when you're standing in line at the bank or the grocery store and a civilian says, 'This is torture' because the line is long or something else totally inane is bothering them, kind of like you just did?"

"Yeah," Kakashi narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"Well, I wanted to be able to turn to them and say, 'If you think that's the case you've never been tortured.'"He shrugged as though this wasn't a big deal. "So I went and I asked Ibiki to torture me a little bit. Just a little, so I would know what it was like."

"Really?"

"No, not really!" Iruka turned back to his baking. It was part of my espionage training. "You're gullible."

"That's not true at all," Kakashi argued. "Your training just made you an incredibly convincing liar. It's awful. I cannot believe they let you near children. You could make them believe anything. Try again. Lie to me."

Kakashi scrutinized him. Iruka didn't look up from filling a baking sheet with blobs of cookie dough.

"I've never slept with a woman not because I m a homosexual but because I hate to top. When you're getting grabby and I say _down boy_ I really mean _please rape me_."

"You have absolutely no tells. I've never seen anything like it." Kakashi sounded fascinated in that dangerous sort of way that warned Iruka he would be trying to talk him out of his pants within the next quarter of an hour. "Lie again."

"I believe that love conquers all," Iruka continued. "I have always believed that I have one soul mate, who I hope will find me and make me his wife. And while I'm at it I also believe in coddling children."

"More," Kakashi insisted. He embraced Iruka from behind, hooking his head over his shoulder.

"I've never killed a man. I am not the one who hid Princess Tsunade s hangover remedy and if I did it certainly was not with the intention of getting revenge on Shizune for rigging a bet. The aphrodisiac hypnotics hidden in an undisclosed location in this apartment are not mine and I have never used them on you."

Kakashi's hands started to slide up Iruka's shirt. "That first one of the last set again."

"Stop restlessly grinding your hard-on into my ass, pervert," Iruka scolded. "I'm trying to open the oven."

Kakashi moved aside just long enough for Iruka to get the last batch into the oven. Iruka barely managed to set the timer. But, that didn't prevent the cookies from burning.


	10. Day 10, Parties

**Day 10 - Parties**

Everyone who did not have a family to be with gathered on Christmas. Generally, these parties started innocently and ended with property damage or a trip to the hospital. Anko, who was listing to the left so badly she had to right herself with a hand on an unconscious and snoring Gai, looked as though she might be the first to require assistance being dragged to the emergency room. The table they were both perched shivered as if it was going to give way underneath them any moment.

"Kakashi and Iruka truth... truth or dare?" Anko shouted even though they were only a few feet away.

They weren't even playing. Nobody was. But, Kakashi answered for them anyway. "Dare."

"Kakashi, ad-lib a set of marriage vows for Iruka. She gestured with her glass and, miraculously, did not spill. Iruka, do the same for Kakashi. But... each pretend to be the other.

"I do solemnly swear," Iruka started. "On alternating Tuesdays when I am not out of the village, to do my best to make sure my dogs don t barf in your shoes, sleep in the wet spot without complaint when I don t do the laundry so we have no clean sheets and stop when you say safeword."

Kakashi clenched his fist and waxed poetic. "Be my mirror, my dagger and the place to rest my head-"

Iruka blushed furiously. He interrupted, "Shuddup."

"Man, you are both going to be so hung over in the morning."

Anko laughed so hard that Gai slipped underneath her. The table shuttered and collapsed. Kakashi and Iruka gathered Anko and Gai off the floor and walked them home.


	11. Day 11, Hangovers

**Day 11 - Hangovers**

Iruka woke to the brassy sound of trumpets blaring. He appreciated Kakashi's interest in jazz music. But, he did not want have anything to do with it, not at 8:00 AM, not when they had been out until 3:00 AM drinking the evening before and not when he had already been subjected to Chirstmas carols for the past three weeks. He put the pillow over his head.

Kakashi's voice was muffled. But, it sounded like he was standing right over him. "I spy with my little eye a hungover school teacher."

He attempted to lift the pillow from Iruka's head. Iruka smacked his hand away and groaned, "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Aw," Kakashi crooned, patting the pillow. "Somebody's Mr. Grumpypants today."

"Why don't you ever get hangovers?" he asked, voice full of bitterness and bile.

"Because I'm too cool." Iruka peeked out from under the pillow with one eye. He saw that Kakashi stood proudly in the center of the room, wearing only his cowl, a pair of tube socks - which Iruka had told him repeatedly to stop borrowing, his gloves and white briefs. He wore the Santa hat that he had lifted from the party the night before down over his left eye. "Obviously."

Iruka snorted derisively. Pain shot through his scull. "Don't make me laugh."

"So cool." He danced backwards into the kitchen.

Iruka threw the pillow at him and missed. "Stop."

"The coolest!"

Kakashi re-emerged from the kitchen still dancing. He moved slowly across the room back towards the bed.

Iruka laughed again. This time he thought he might throw up. "No. No."

"Anything to hear you laugh, sugar-tit," Kakashi teased.

"Oh..." Iruka threw an arm over his eyes, moaned and groped the bed side for a projectile to throw at his partner. "It's like you re knifing me in the eye."

"Seriously though." Kakashi's voice flattened. He climbed up onto the mattress, squatted over Iruka's hips and leered down at him like that was a perfectly normal thing to do. He held out a glass of orange juice that smelled of vodka. "It's because I drink a lot of water and stick to one type of booze. Here. Hair of the dog. You have to be at the academy for the secret Santa exchange in an hour."


	12. Day 12, Bah Humbug

**Day 12 - Bah Humbug**

Iruka looked at Kakashi through the lens of the new Polaroid camera he had received in the school-wide secret Santa. Kakashi was too busy sprawled across the bed reading to notice. He snapped one picture before Kakashi looked up and threw the book at him.

"Why are you so camera shy?"

"Because my good side isn't showing," he said without even moving to glance at the pictures.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Iruka snapped another just because Kakashi was pouting. "You're gorgeous, no matter what you're doing or what angle. It's impossible to take a bad picture of you."

"Stop." Kakashi threw his hands up over his face and peered at Iruka through his fingers.

Iruka snapped a third picture. "How can you act surprised when people flatter you?"

"I don t like it!" Kakashi's voice was muffled as he buried himself in the blankets.

Iruka fanned the pictures through the air then held them out to watch them develop. "Oh, wow. You're blushing."

Before Iruka could gasp Kakashi was on top of him. Iruka knew didn't stand a chance keeping the photos away from Kakashi but that didn't mean he wasn't going to put up a decent fight. He got in a kick and managed the first part of a kiss. But, when Kakashi started forming seals he let go and backed to the wall.

"Katon!"

Iruka threw himself to the floor. "Not in the house!"

"Goukakyuu no Jutsu." Kakashi finished all in one breath.

He pinched the photos between his fingers and torched them. It was a small fireball. But, it was still a _fireball_. When they were sufficiently toasted he crumpled them in one hand and let the curling shards of brunt plastic fall to the ground next to Iruka's face. The smell of it was overpowering.

"Oh, well... _fuck_. You re cleaning that up, I hope you know."

He rolled over on his back to watch Kakashi stare down at him. Iruka tried to pretend that being at Kakashi's feet as he radiated anger didn t make him the embodiment of all his _righteously displeased commanding officer_ fantasies.

"Take another," Kakashi warned in a voice that sent a thrill to the pit of Iruka's belly, "and it'll be the camera next."

"Woah!" Iruka laughed. "Merry Christmas to you, too."

"Bah humbug!" Kakashi responded.

He up his cowl and refused to take it down, even after Iruka spent the next hour successfully convincing him to take every other article of clothing he was wearing off.


End file.
